Somewhere in the U.S., a teenage girl has just found out that she is pregnant. Now she faces the first of the many agonizing decisions to come: What to tell her parent or parents. Over 60% of pregnant teenagers do tell at least one parent, and the vast majority of those parents will swallow whatever disappointment or anger they may feel, and do their best to help their daughter through the difficult times ahead. This is the loving parent-child relationship we would wish for every young girl in such a difficult situation.
But not all teenagers feel that they can tell their parents. Some have very valid reasons to fear doing so: According to the ACLU, one third of teenagers who do not tell their parents about a pregnancy have already been the victims of family violence, citing as an example the case of Spring Adams, a 13-year-old who was shot to death by her father after he learned she planned to end a pregnancy he himself had caused. Many pro-choice groups oppose parental notification or consent laws for this reason.
Fair enough. But what of the other two thirds? Many pregnant teenagers simply don't want to disappoint or hurt their parents - which can be taken as evidence that a loving relationship exists, and should be nourished, not circumvented. For this reason, many pro-life groups support parental consent or notification laws, expressing the very real and valid belief that most parents want to help their children, not hurt them.
Blind opposition to parental consent or notification laws does nothing to address that truth, just as blind support of such laws does nothing to help those girls who are the victims of family violence and abuse. And, once again, both are beside the point.
The point is, each teenager who fears telling her parents about a pregnancy needs our help as an individual, not as a representative of the pro-life or the pro-choice position. Our opinion of her morality, and our opinion on her options have nothing to do with the help she needs from us right now - which may be to help her tell her parents about her pregnancy, or may be to help her leave an abusive household.
The point is, a young teenager, somewhere, is pregnant now, and she needs help now. Whether we are pro-life or pro-choice has no role in listening to her concerns, trying to determine the facts of that individual case, and dealing with those facts. A pro-choice person need not agree with parental consent if the facts are that the girl does have loving parents who can and will help her, because loving parents should not be prevented from helping their child. A pro-life person need not counsel abortion if the facts are that the family situation is abusive, because no child should be forced to remain in such a situation, pregnant or not.
Can't we - shouldn't we - as adults, put aside the "party line" on parental consent laws, and see that a frightened, pregnant teenager gets the help she needs?
Karen
Sources and Resources
Adolescent Pregnancy and Childbearing
Family Planning Perspectives, Volume 32, No. 1, January/February 2000. The report of a ten-year, international study of adolescent pregnancy levels and trends in developed countries from the Alan Guttmacher Institute.
Why is Teenage Pregnancy Declining?
A report on the roles of abstinence, sexual activity and contraceptive use in the decline of teenage pregnancy, from the Alan Guttmacher Institute.
Planned Parenthood Fact Sheet
Teenagers, Abortion, and Government Intrusion Laws
ACLU Action Alert
An alert opposing the "Child Custody Protection Act" which criminalizes transporting a minor across state lines to avoid parental consent laws.